When women come to me and we start working on internally aligning them with the relationship their heart desires, they usually realize that even though they crave support, love, and intimacy and they crave a safe relationship, they haven´t been choosing it wholeheartedly.
It often looks like their heart longing for a (their) man to cherish them, but whenever they find themselves with a man they try to outperform him, show him how capable and put together they are, making everything in their power to be his “equal” and then feeling like a (their) man will never know and see the “real” them.
Or they crave a man who will support them, cherish them, and provide safety and stability, yet they feel attracted to and keep inviting into their life men who bring chaos and confusion.
Becoming a loved and supported woman is an invitation to heal your relationship with men and Father and to choose His peace wholeheartedly.
Being a loved woman means choosing peace, safety, and stability over chaos and reactivity.
If you feel like a safe, supportive, and intimate relationship is not available to you, there is a part of you that is still at war with men and God and she hasn´t chosen peace wholeheartedly.
She is trying to prove that she actually IS worthy of love and support and she IS worthy of being chosen.
That part is in pain because she´s had experiences where she wasn´t chosen, wasn´t cherished, and wasn´t loved the way she needed to be loved. So she is still stuck in proving her worth instead of living from it.
The hurt over time turned into bitterness and the idea of trusting men or trusting God/life and surrendering control makes her scoff.
That is also the very same part of you that is creating the inner dissonance and a feeling of being stuck– she is longing to be loved, but terrified to be truly seen in her imperfections by a man.
She craves to be provided for but refuses to see men being as capable as she is (or more).
She is fighting to prove her worth, but won´t allow herself to rest in it and trust that she is worthy of being chosen.
This part is often attracted to men who allow her to prove to herself and to the world that she IS right. She can´t trust men and they are incapable and unwilling to provide. (She gravitates towards men who are themselves at war with the feminine, but that´s a topic for another day.)
To welcome love and intimacy wholeheartedly, the part of you that is still seeking justice would need to put her sword down and give up the fight to right the wrongs that happened to her.
The path of restoring her relationship with the masculine, with Father, and with love itself leads a woman back to her own heart where she is invited to welcome the sadness and GRIEF of not being the chosen and supported one in the past.
She needs to learn to BE with the grief and sorrow that are buried beyond the frustration, anger, and a sense of righteous indignation toward men.
She needs to realize that she can´t have love by being at war with it.
And as she keeps BEING with her heart, the restlessness and the extractive urge to do and to perform to GET (love, attention, acknowledgment) will gradually let go of her.
By learning to BE with her heart and LISTEN IN she starts finding her true worth and value within.
She comes to understand that the injustice that happened to her was never a reflection of her true worth, value, and preciousness.
As she lets Father hold her in her grief and sadness, she learns to welcome support and love even in a state of tenderness and raw vulnerability. She learns that she after all is worthy of love and presence and she doesn´t have to fight for it anymore, which heals her from the entanglement with unavailable men that made her feel like she needed to deserve their love.
Coming home to her heart, she discovers the gentle voice of Father calmly saying: You are mine. You were always chosen. You are my precious daughter.
That´s when she learns how healthy masculine love and presence feel.
She comes to understand that the chaos she learned to invite in was never of God and that an empowered man brings her peace of mind and heart, safety, and stability.
As she starts to trust her heart and as she finds beauty and joy in her own preciousness she starts to have faith again that a good man can and will see the same beauty and preciousness in her.
Her faith in love is being restored. She has come home to herself and she is now being held by her Father. She has become a cherished daughter and a loved woman.
I have an amazing self-study program for women who want to learn the art of intimacy and healthy relationships – join us in The Sanctuary of a Feminine Woman.
For past clients and women who have already been on the journey of restoring their relationship with men and Father for some time and who desire to learn to receive their partner and his strength and support on a deeper level, I opened registration for the Daughter program. It´s also a fit for a woman who is not in a relationship, but who wants to prepare herself to be with an empowered man. Until January 6th you can sign up with the code CHERISHED to get an early bird price.
