The fulfillment, joy, and initiation into new levels of love, connection, and intimacy in our relationships as women are always available to us. Always there for taking. We just want to learn how to naturally become the invitation and reap the opportunities that are being presented to us.
Whether you have a partner or not, whether your heart was at one point in time broken, or whether you have been protecting it from being broken open, our feminine essence itself is an invitation to receive. To receive love in all its forms – from your man, from your loved ones, from life and God himself.
When we forget that we were designed to live from a place of fulfillment, which simply means being filled by and resting in our feminine heart and receiving masculine protection and provision, we unconsciously create unhealthy distortions in our relationships, love, and life (including our career and the way we show up and share our skills in the world).
In my experience and practice, women who come to me, even though they have done inner “work”, are usually missing a deeper understanding of how a healthy union FEELS on a somatic level and how to connect with their feminine core.
One thing that was coming up in my sessions this week is that reading about your attachment style, mindfulness or polarity doesn´t equal doing the work. Information plants the seeds and helps you cultivate awareness, however, the restorative process starts when we learn to tune the external noises out and we practice deepening into our connection with our own feminine essence and wisdom, with God and the present moment and with the unparented parts of us that are trying to escape the moment by taking in more information.
And because their relationship with God is one of the missing pieces for many of my clients (due to religious trauma, cultural conditioning, etc.), their psyche has confused and replaced a loving father with a despotic tyrant, and the way they treat themselves and their body is through the lens of judgment, distrust, punishment, and fear.
This dynamic ultimately leads to dissociation from their instincts and intellectualization of their emotions which prevents them from living fully in touch with their body and incredible feminine wisdom.
The fragmentation of the original union and cooperation between the masculine and feminine principles of creation show up in our feminine psyche and relationships as:
1. Feeling like no matter what you do, it is never ENOUGH
Your nervous system is always “on” and it is difficult for you to create an intimate relationship with the present moment and your body. A simple awareness that will help you determine whether you are living from your feminine core is asking yourself – Are you letting your body, heart, and womb lead you as you go about your day? Or are you following the frantic reactivity coming from your mind? When you are with your partner, are you present and can you feel his masculine energy coming towards you? Or are you in your mind thinking two steps ahead? (this awareness is also crucial when you are discerning the right partner for you – you cannot “figure him out”, but you can definitely let your instincts inform you about his level of empowerment and integrity)
The first distortion also shows up as
– inability to receive your partner´s love and support fully and receive them in your heart and body
– meeting his masculine energy with your masculine shield and creating conflict and even more distance between the two of you (he feels emasculated and defeated and you feel furious and abandoned)
To deeply and fully receive love from the masculine, your body and heart need to remember how to create and hold yourself and your emotions in a safe embrace. We are being nourished by the masculine protection and provision beyond our mind through our open heart and receptive softened body, which creates and maintains polarity and attraction in your union.
2. Feeling like a burden, feeling guilty about receiving, and at the same time feeling like all the support is being withheld from you
To this day I haven´t had a client who wouldn´t feel like some part of her and her needs and desires aren´t burdensome to people around her and the masculine. It is a manifestation of being disconnected from the masculine frame that is available to us at all times through the love of our Creator and ideally through our father. When the latter was not readily available and the first was distorted through religious or societal trauma and indoctrination our body has to be reminded of how it feels to be held, cherished, protected, and taken care of.
Until then a woman will keep trying to find her value in mothering, “fixing” relationships through her mind, and trying to prove her usefulness and value in performing, which will either
– lead her directly into the arms of unsafe and emotionally immature partners (because she misses her body´s cues and doesn´t have a blueprint for how “healthy” feels in her body)
– or it suffocates the health of her relationship with an empowered man because she doesn´t know how to create space where he can step up, provide through his masculine design, and be fully received for who he truly is
She simply hasn´t developed the capacity in her nervous system to hold space for the unknown and spontaneity through her feminine openness and softened presence.
Women are relational beings and when I work with my clients we always look at and work with all levels of receiving that are available to us:
What is your relationship like with yourself and your best inner husband? How supportive are you of your needs and God-given desires?
What is your relationship like with the masculine principle of life (men, career or your household, money, structure, and devotional discipline)?
What is your relationship like with God – have you been indoctrinated by the image of a despotic tyrant or are you connected to the love of the divine Father who is at all times protecting your feminine heart and innocence?
3. Seeing the masculine as an enemy who will exploit and abandon you
When we have suffered severe pain and injustice we hide our heart behind layers and layers of protection. They can show up as irritation, being hot and cold with men, mood swings, or as your wit, sarcasm, and humor used to deflect your or other people´s emotions. The masculine shield around a woman´s heart is making her go into war with the masculine to correct the injustice that happened to her and to right the wrongs.
In the end, however, she is also protecting herself from intimacy, love, and deep connection because the wound distorts her perception of men and tells her that they are ALL untrustworthy and opening her heart to an enemy is unthinkable to the hurt parts of her psyche and body.
The protective shields dissolve on their own when we learn to cultivate intimacy in our life by using our feminine healing core to STAY WITH and transmute the old pains and hurts. Your open heart is not only deeply nourishing to empowered masculine men but first and foremost it has an innate wisdom that helps you remember how to BE in the world as a feminine woman and to feel safe in that experience.
This is not a three-step process or formula but a very unique and intimate journey of coming home to your essence which I teach in-depth in my private mentorship programs. New clients can either choose a more intensive 10-week Whole & Worthy program or a slower-paced three-month option. You learn to establish healthy relationship foundations, cultivate attraction and safety with the masculine, and restore your understanding of your feminine design through gentle somatic (body-based) work and reconciling the relationship with your heart, womb, and feminine instincts. Both programs are a low four-figure investment with payment plan options. You can apply HERE and if we are a good fit I will be in touch soon and give you more details.
If you are looking for a low-investment practical self-paced program, I recommend my new membership portal The Sanctuary of a Feminine Woman.