(Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash)
(and how to start recognizing the illusions of safety in the self-development)
My programs are a safe haven for women who have done a lot of self-development work and still feel like something is missing.
This is usually how their journey goes:
They read about how they can influence their reality when they change themselves and their “energy”. They implement the tools, tips, and practices. Then they wait for the results and if nothing is happening they either blame themselves and their “energy” or they try even more to change, shift their vibe, and “reprogram” their mind.
How do you know that you have bought into the illusion of safety wrapped up in a shiny self-development package?
You feel like you need to work on changing yourself before you can have what you desire and you are always on the lookout for a new tool, method, or secret strategy.
One day you are excited about creating a new or better relationship and a couple of weeks or even days down the road you burn out from the initial excitement/high and have to face the “negative” emotions.
Riding these emotional waves on repeat feels discouraging and exhausting at the same time.
And somewhere in the background the belief that you have to get it right to get what you want is playing on repeat.
This same pattern is often weaved through the communication scripts, 3-things-high-value-partner-is-attracted-to videos, or must-haves-to make-it-in-your-career articles.
The simplest way of seeing right through the smoke and mirrors is to recognize how your body feels when you come across this type of information.
Does it feel sustainable and nourishing to your nervous system or does it create a feeling of urgency and make you overwork yourself?
Does it give you an initial high, but the underlying feeling of anxiety stays?
Does it make your body contract or exhale with relief?
Does it make you feel like you have to get it right or does it allow for you to discover your own process and your own Self in the process?
I work with emphatic ambitious women and help them create lasting fulfilling relationships and supportive careers. And the first thing we do in my program is that we stop using self-development or any kind of tool as a crutch or as a means to an end.
We build their internal support systems so that they no longer have to feel like a little girl when it comes to love or their career. I use an integrated approach where we honor their FEMININITY and my clients learn to dissolve codependent relationships with their career, partner, and life itself (the codependency shows up as a sneaky belief that life/Universe will reward you for feeling high-vibe or that to “attract” a partner you have to overcome parts of yourself or “imagine” your way there).
Instead of becoming their “best Self”, they are allowed to slow down, come home to themselves and process the underlying feeling of anxiety, longing, and emptiness. We cultivate emotional maturity and practice holding stability and safety in the mind-body system which allows them to see and receive new and HEALTHY opportunities.
We explore the drive behind the coping mechanisms that either prevent them from moving forward and engaging with life or make them run from their current life at an unsustainable speed. They learn how to listen and follow their feminine genius (needs, desires, soul-led inspiration, and their unique personality) while integrating healthy supportive masculine structures.
If it sounds like you are the right fit, you can apply for 1:1 support HERE.