When the Mainstream Relationship Advice Doesn´t Work for You

(Photo by Jernej Graj on Unsplash)

Creating a healthy thriving relationship and a fulfilling career that is supporting you and your feminine genius has a common denominator. It determines how easily you can create what you desire while enjoying the journey. The denominator is your connection to your feminine instincts and your ability to receive while being fully YOU.

A woman who has learned to honor her uniqueness and legacy doesn´t lose her time and life force on being overwhelmed by the sneaky patterns of waiting or overworking herself.

The “waiting” pattern is triggered by a part of her (the little girl) that is hoping to be saved by a rescuer, savior, or a knight in shining armor from the life she is living now. She is looking for a quick fix. Similarly to a peter pan man who is “living in the present” and “going with the flow” and refuses to grow up.

Another way in which this pattern manifests is enabling unhealthy treatment in a relationship while hoping or praying that her partner will change. In my practice, I haven´t encountered a case when a man who was not the right fit for her from the get-go would change based on how much she was “working on herself”, praying, or hoping.

How to recognize that you are entertaining this pattern?

You are afraid of the responsibility that comes with growing up and creating an environment and relationships that feel safe, secure, and nourishing in the long term. You are scared of taking financial responsibility for yourself and you are refusing structure, discernment, and discipline because you find it restricting (your own masculine energy is not integrated).

If someone disrespects you, it is incredibly heart-wrenching for you to let them face consequences (consequences work way faster than hoping that the other person will change).

A woman who gives into this pattern generally needs more time and support to “grow up” and start the momentum towards implementing healthy relationship dynamics, learn to set boundaries and leave the idea of being rescued behind. This is also the type of woman that the majority of mainstream relationship and self-help advice is oriented towards. And this is also not a client I am working with on a one-on-one basis.

My area of expertise is a woman who is familiar with the “overworking” pattern. She is not only high-achieving and extremely responsible, but she is also the one who makes sure that others in her life are being taken care of and their needs are being met.

When it comes to relationships, she is emphatic and knows how her responses and behavior impact others and that is why she tends to shield them from some of her “negative” feelings and “help” them (pull them along) in the name of love. She is usually well-train in the self-help and self-development area and she is willing to look at and take responsibility for her “blocks/shortcomings”.

Staying in the self-development world and reading advice that is not meant for her is going to make her doubt herself even more and power through her inherent instincts.

My clients are high-tech executives and business analysts, women who run their own businesses, lawyers, psychologists, and even women who serve in the army. They don´t need me to explain to them how to cultivate self-responsibility. They have been (often unconsciously) doing it their whole life.

In relationships, they are usually susceptible to the peter pan man, because who is a better match to a man without a plan than a woman who has a plan for both of them and who is always ready and willing to execute? These types of relationships are extremely dangerous to her legacy and the feminine genius. They make her doubt herself and overwork for love even more than she was already used to.

She secretly craves to drop the weight of the world that she has been carrying on her shoulders and start receiving the support she has been giving to everyone else but herself. This desire comes with Pandora´s box, which hides her relationship to her feminine uniqueness and receiving.

She is afraid that being the receiver will make her open to the whims and unreliability of the masculine and the world. At least the unreliable masculine she was used to.

The lid on Pandora´s box is made out of the “overworking” pattern and it is her body´s way of creating safety and security that partially protects her from exposing the more feminine side of her that desires appreciation, support, fulfillment, and deep connection.

When she overworks herself, her internal masculine protector can at least “justify” what she receives.

And this is where advice like “follow your intuition” and “follow your feelings” usually falls short because her intuition is a part of her subconscious mind, body, and feelings and it is going to do what it was well trained to do.

If your feminine essence was trained to receive only after she has delivered or that receiving is a conditional act, your first instinct is to give more than you receive and to feel guilty even for receiving breadcrumbs.

If you can´t trust yourself and use your discernment when it comes to the masculine, the inherent reaction then is to punish “him” and overwork yourself for safety and security. This happens in relationships where the partner doesn´t know how to support you or when they are not your equal and you gradually start feeling angry, resentful, frustrated and irritated. Which drains your life force and hides your feminine brilliance so that they won´t feel threatened.

This mechanism hidden in Pandora´s box is secretly running your career and relationships and it makes it feel like you are supporting them, instead of your relationships and career supporting you and your uniqueness.

In my world, we open the box and dissolve the drive behind overworking yourself. Then we decondition your feminine instincts and build up your inner protector and provider so that “he” can support you.

You don´t have to second guess yourself on your way to an empowered partner (who is your equal) and a career that is infused with your unique genius.

For ten weeks, we proceed step-by-step and retrain your nervous system and body so that it can receive more in the easiest way possible while feeling good and creating a foundation of safety and security. Both in your relationships and your career.

For emphatic, ambitious women who desire to step beyond healing and start creating relationships and career that feels amazing, I created a two-and-a-half-month-long one-on-one program where we:

  1. Set your instincts free, train your body to recognize how a healthy relationship feels and help you let go of any unhealthy attachments and dynamics that are draining your energy (this discernment takes your career to a whole new level as well and dissolves all the self-doubt)
  2. Work with your inner protector and provider so that you have the most empowered gatekeeper to your feminine light and feminine genius which turns you from a fixer-upper to a beautiful castle and helps you to structure your life in a way that is actually supporting YOU.
  3. Create a mind-body connection that feels safe, supportive, and extremely nourishing and making it a bottom line in all your endeavors. This is a whole paradigm shift that opens you up to new opportunities and helps you to leave the belief that “you deserve only things that you worked hard for” behind, forever.
  4. Make it comfortable for you to lead with your feminine genius and let go of unnecessary defenses that dim your radiance. You will learn to lean into your intuition (feminine instinct) and trust yourself.
  5. Help you discern what is healthy and what is not when it comes to polarity and relationships and help you become comfortable with using your own integrated empowered energies to support yourself and to let others (including men) who are equally empowered to support you as well.

The good news is that I give you a roadmap that guides you to a healthy relationship where your feminine essence is fully honored, supported, appreciated, and seen. We train your body to understand and to be able to discern the feeling of protection, provision, and support. This unique process dissolves the “overworking” and shows you that it is safe to receive and thrive when you listen to and trust your instincts. 

Once you understand how your Pandora´s box works, your instincts are set free, you are open and available only to healthy, nourishing, and supportive connections, your feminine brilliance can finally shine through, and you get to be cherished for being you. If it sounds like you are the right fit, you can apply by filling out the application form.

A Miracle Workbook

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