When a woman lives in the ‘When…Then paradigm’, it´s as if she were under a spell.
When I meet the right partner, then I´ll go on a vacation of my dreams.
When I have the perfect body, then I´ll feel attractive.
When I do all the right things, then I´ll ‘manifest‘ what I want.
She can´t see that treating her life as a big ‘meantime’ comes from a disempowered energy (usually from the inner child that doesn´t feel good enough) and so she stays trapped in the vicious cycle of hoping, longing, improving herself, but eventually falling short of her own expectations.
Then she either keeps pushing herself harder and reinforces the ‘not good enough yet’ wounding with listening to the inner bully (which inevitably leads to burnout) or she falls into a victim role and feels like life is withholding things from her or like her desires are not meant to happen after all.
When you are used to believing and feeling that you can´t receive yet, you aren´t ready yet, or that you have to do XYZ before you can have what you want, you won´t see the gifts, opportunities, and people that are ready to co-create with you in a way that you desire. You´re under a spell.
The ‘When…Then paradigm’ is like a big waiting room and you´re waiting for someone who´ll give you permission to use the exit door and step out into the life you know you want to live. The spell you´re under makes it hard (often impossible) to see that you´re the one holding the key and you can leave anytime.
One way to break the spell is to start seeing receiving your heart´s desires as a GIFT and not as a REWARD.
If you´ve been operating out of disempowered energies for years and haven´t experienced a connection to your healthy inner masculine energy, you can´t imagine how you could receive freely without having to perform first or controlling every outcome (the inner bully tells you that unless you get it right, you´re worthless).
You don´t realize that it´s who you are and not how well you manage to follow a certain strategy that opens the door for the right people and opportunities to come in.
Retrieving your power and light is an inward journey of connecting with those parts of you that are scared of being seen and also looking at where you use performance to overcompensate for the lack of inner self-worth.
Embodying your feminine essence means releasing the need to dictate how, when, and where you want to receive your gifts. But knowing that the more you surrender into the feeling of being whole within yourself and the more you enjoy your life now, the more delightful the journey of receiving becomes. And you don´t receive only when… You´re receiving now and now and now…
Starting to trust that the gifts are already yours, becomes easier when you restore your relationship with the empowered masculine (giving energy) and embrace the softness of feminine openness (receiving energy).
Our ability to receive is directly connected to the amount of joy and pleasure we allow ourselves to feel. Daily.
When you let yourself wait for joy, strive for joy, or think that your joy is dependent on someone else, you dim your light and diminish your ability to receive.
Joy is your birthright. And when you place it above any other goal/achievement, life becomes beautifully simple.
You give up restlessness, self-improvement, and looking for answers everywhere else but in your heart.
The power of your feminine essence is being so connected to the divine that you become one with the Source of joy.
And whatever else you decide to create from that state will be infused with your joy. You are no longer waiting for anyone to show you who you are. You are shining your light so bright that it helps others to remember who they are, as well.