What if I told you that the key to your desires is held by the inner resistance you feel when you think about them and in your longing, and yearning?
Whether we want a fulfilling relationship, career, or anything else that feels like we have to go out and get and it hasn´t happened yet, we are met with an inner voice asking: “Is there something wrong with me?”, “Why can everyone else have it and I can´t?”, “What am I doing wrong?”
If you can´t recognize that these questions are coming from disempowered energies and your own emotional wounding (inner child) that wants to be heard, healed, and integrated, you´ll miss the opportunity to become more of who you are and to get closer to everything that you desire.
What most women do is that they keep ignoring all the triggers, resistance, and they tend to think that their feelings are irrational. They meet the inner chaos with judgment or they go searching for another advice, another strategy, or another opportunity to numb out.
And there will always be another 5-step program that will tell you what´s wrong with you and how you can fix yourself and change.
And that´s why it feels like you´re always searching, doing all the “right” things and never arriving.
But the thing is, any action or strategy that you take from the disempowered energetic place will lead to the same unfulfilling result.
The first step I teach women is to learn to recognize when they are acting out of their triggers and emotional wounds and how to integrate them in a way that doesn´t feel like they need to change or be different than they are.
The last thing you want to do is to meet the inner voice asking you “Is there something wrong with me?” and “How do I need to change to be loveable?” with anger, frustration, and a list of suggestions.
It´s as if a little child asked her father “How do I need to change so you can love me?” and he´ll start listing all the changes she needs to do. Or as if you´re asking a man “What do I need to do, so you will love me more?”
Can you see how disempowered and unhealthy these dynamics are?
Your inner child (often disguised as inner resistance, fear, hopelessness, and sadness) needs you to meet her with empowered energy:
“I love you exactly as you are.”
“I don´t need you to change.”
“I´ll stay with you as long as you´ll need me.”
“You can relax, we´re safe.”
“I don´t need you to be constantly doing something, I value you no matter what.”
“It´s OK to take your time/do it your way.”
“Your happiness is important to me.”
Can you feel the relief? Can you feel the resistance melting away? Ahhh…
It´s in learning to give yourself space to feel and time to integrate that you´ll find the clarity you´re looking for and the byproduct is that you´ll become magnetic to all your desires.
Imagine meeting a man and instead of asking him how you need to change, you´d just know how amazing you are, you´d own all of your desires and values and your energy would be focused on creating an amazing life for yourself. You´d be able to fully support and validate yourself without needing his approval. How attractive is that?