Two major beliefs are creating a gap between what a lot of women desire to experience and what they actually get to experience. These patterns of beliefs and behavior will resonate with you especially if you are an empath and/or the one who usually carries a lot of responsibility and is in charge because you´re so capable and smart.
When you find yourself in one (or both) of these patterns, the thing you think you need to do is rarely the one that will actually get you closer to what you want.
The first belief is “I need to DO more to be loveable”
Think of one of your desires that hasn´t happened yet. As the initial excitement subsides it is usually replaced by a heavy feeling in your gut or in your heart. And you then use this feeling as a fuel to do more, be more, and push through, because that´s what you´re used to making it mean – I need to try harder.
If you continue to do that, you´ll call in more people and situations where you will need to prove your worth to get love and validation. And not only that… you´ll carry this belief into other areas of your life and the “doing to get” energy will look like doing the inner work to “earn” results or trying to prove your worth in your career instead of knowing your worth.
The second belief is “I need to change myself to get what I desire”
This belief is a magnet for people with narcissistic tendencies and others who´ll gladly benefit from your lack of self-appreciation to fulfill their unmet emotional needs. If you´re able to quickly attune to other people´s emotions, it´s so easy to fall into the codependency trap (without realizing it) – If I change and give you what you need, you´ll give me what I want.
However, if you start playing this game (often unconsciously) with life itself, you´ll always fall short.
Life (Universe) is not capable of interacting with you in this codependent way.
You call in what you believe you deserve and you´ll let yourself have what you think you´re worthy of. The more you pull yourself apart and over-function, the more you dim your light (your innate feminine magnetism) and the more you separate yourself from your sense of self-worth.
So what if I told you that to get what you want, you need to do the exact opposite?
When you find yourself on the hamster wheel of proving your worth and over-functioning, the only thing that´s going to help you is to simply get off and realize that you have a choice. You always had, even though these beliefs made it seem as if you did not.
Becoming aware of these patterns begins to dissolve them and as you stop feeding them with your energy it´ll naturally open up space for something new to come through. Once you truly feel your worth and realize that you don´t have to be different than you are to receive what you want, your perception of the world will shift and your emotions will shift as well. You´ll slowly start calling in more of what you want as your resistance towards it melts away.
Once you start noticing what´s going on in your inner environment, it´ll become much easier to support yourself and soothe those parts that are feeling sad, frustrated, and overwhelmed. This inner mastery will naturally start attracting better results in all areas of your life without having to try harder or change who you are.
I teach this and so much more in my Alchemy program.