If you´re doing the healing with an intention to fix yourself chances are that you´ll slip either into wounded masculine or wounded feminine patterns of behavior.
When you´re feeling triggered it´s not time to start pulling yourself apart and start analyzing your limiting beliefs.
When you feel triggered there´s a part of you that doesn´t feel seen, heard, or safe.
It´s the same as if a little child was crying out for your help and you would turn around look at her and say “What´s wrong with you? Why can´t you just get over it already? You´re ruining my life!“
The quickest way to change your relationship patterns so they feel good is to shift the dynamic that is going on within you.
If you´re feeling constantly left behind, invisible, or questioning your worth, even though you´ve intellectually tried to “overcome“ these feelings for ages, you´ve probably never experienced how to use your own empowered masculine energy to soothe the feelings of abandonment and close the energetic gap between you and your desires.
What happens is that we´re used to operating in two modes – you´re swinging from an inner bully (wounded masculine) to a victim (wounded feminine) and then back unable to find a stable ground under your feet.
The bully is pressuring you with
“Why isn’t this moving faster?”
“This isn’t perfect.”
“I should be doing better.”
“I need to be doing more.”
and you feel impatient, frustrated, or irritated daily.
Then when you had enough of the pressure you swing into victim mode
“This isn’t working.”
“What if it doesn’t happen for me?”
“Why can she have it, and I can’t?”
“There´s something wrong with me”
You´re stuck with fear, doubt, and anxiety.
No amount of action can change these dynamics. And no amount of analyzing your wounds will get you out of the victimhood. Because in both cases the underlying message is “There´s something wrong with you and it needs to be fixed now or else you´ll never be enough.”
What shifts these dynamics is activating the support of your empowered energies that will allow you to feel cherished, supported, and loved without changing a single thing about you and not giving into any advice that tells you otherwise.
How would you feel if you knew that your only “work” is to appreciate yourself just as you are?