When you have perfectionistic tendencies you live in a land of restriction.
And it´s not your fault!
We pick up these skewed perceptions while growing up but we can let go of them anytime once we take ownership of our experience, beliefs, and emotions.
Here are two examples of how the perfectionist in us impacts our life:
🧠 Living by the “when… then…” rule
You don´t allow yourself to feel joy, relief, or appreciation until you´ve reached your goal. And anyone with an inner critic knows that once you reach that goal, you´ll immediately find another one, and joy and relief are being postponed again.
🧠 What you do is never enough
Your self-identity is wrapped around the concept of harder, better, faster, stronger.
This keeps you out of touch with your needs, natural rhythms, and emotions.
The most effective and effortless way of opting out of this paradigm is to realize that a miserable journey won´t lead to a beautiful destination (even though this is contrary to what we´ve been taught).
Your emotions shape your experience of the world.
When you´re no longer willing to be emotionally codependent on the outside circumstances or goals, your life becomes so much more fulfilling and easier.
Because you´ve decided that you´re worthy of feeling good no matter what.
When you buy into the premise that “If I just do the right thing and follow this plan to a T, I´ll get exactly what I want…“
You´ve just given your power away.
When you turn back on things that come easy to you because someone told you that’s not how you´ll get where you want to be…
You´ve just dismissed the only wisdom you´ll ever need.
It´s not until you´re willing to throw all the fear-based codependent tactics and strategies out of the window that you can finally live the life you´ve always wanted to live while feeling safe and secure no matter what.
If you have people-pleasing and codependent tendencies (which we all have to a certain degree), you´ll be constantly drawn to self-improvement and following step-by-step programs that promise you the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
And because you can’t outwork lack of self-trust, it takes you a while to realize that no matter how hard you try, it’s still not enough.
But what if there was no right way?
What if you couldn’t get it wrong?
You can decide right now that the way that feels natural and that lights you up is the right way for you.
The biggest codependency trap you can fall into is the lie that unless you haven´t struggled hard enough and followed every rule, you don´t deserve it.
Show yourself how worthy you´re by letting go of every reason why you can’t trust yourself.
No one has answers to YOUR life.
So stop questioning yourself and start trusting that only you know what’s right for you.