There were many things I thought that I should let go of to create the best version of myself and to live happily ever after. Such as:
- my perfectionism
- my rational and judgmental nature
- my introverted personality
- my desire to just BE instead of to DO all the time
- my “negative“ emotions and my neediness
- my spiritual outlook on life
What did I really need to let go of?
- constant lowering of my standards
- people who didn´t appreciate me for making plans and seeing red flags
- forcing myself to socialize when I wanted to be alone
- the voices telling me that I have to prove myself worthy of rest
- bypassing my emotions and people pleasing
- calling myself crazy when my intuition talked to me loud and clear
I reached an enough is enough moment when it comes to improving myself.
At that moment I´ve seen that there was nothing left to improve.
I am who I am and here is how you can allow yourself to be who you are as well.
Let Go of Shame
A lot of self-development advice stems from one detrimental belief. It´s the belief that we´re not OK the way we´re.
You´ll be fixed only once you buy that course, follow ten steps to mindful living and journal every day. And don´t get me wrong, those are all great tools… when you´re coming from a belief that you´re OK, enough and worthy just as you´re without changing a single thing.
Blasphemy, I know!
To think that you do not need fixing and that you do not need to change…
Who do I think I am? To declare that I am OK, even though I am not enlightened yet…To trust that I can live a fulfilling life even though I still have judgments and I am sometimes failing massively at maintaining inner peace…
The thing is, I have never been more in touch with myself and my creativity than when I stopped bypassing myself — my emotions, my preferences, my needs, and wants.
So, I wanted to let you know that you´re just fine. You´re fine without knowing the five strategies on how to succeed in life. You can get angry or sad when people disappoint you and betray you and you can still be fine.
I´m personally done with anyone telling me that I need to be any other way than I am now. Never let anyone shame you for the way you experience life. Trust me, you´re the way you´re for a reason and if we were in your shoes we´ll probably be the same.
What if I told you that you can have everything you want without having to twist yourself into a pretzel? What if I told you that you don´t have to lose weight or be in your feminine energy all day long to meet the love of your life? What if I told you that you can create the life you´ve always dreamed of without changing a single thing?
Just stop making who you are wrong.
You´re not too old, neither are you too simple-minded or too lazy. You have your unique energetic, emotional, and physical imprint and unless you respect it and go with it, you´ll always fall short of the ideal you hold in your mind.
You become magnetic by taking your power back. Own who you are and you can drop every advice that tells you to be different right now.
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Don´t Deflect Your Emotions
Somehow we bought into the notion that emotions are stinky and gross and that we should be in total control of them. If you want to feel something, you should feel only the positive ones. Whatever you do, do NOT feel the negative emotions!
If you need, take a pill, but don´t be sad.
Are you a woman? Then don´t be angry.
If they haven´t told you yet, angry women are not attractive at all.
How has been this approach working for us so far? Is it possible to not feel what we feel?
Well, you might try. You might try pretending that you´re not feeling sad, fearful, depressed, or angry, but emotions are energy in motion. From my experience, unexpressed emotions turn into self-hate, depression, and all kinds of physical diseases.
People have been striving for freedom and self-expression from the beginning of time. Everything we do, we do it with the hope that it´ll make us feel a certain way. We look for love because we want to feel loved. We want to earn money, so we can feel worthy and so we can buy ourselves freedom.
However, until you allow yourself to express all of who you´re and accept yourself no matter how you feel, you´ll still feel restricted in one way or another.
What part do the emotions play in your magnetism?
We just can´t pretend that we don´t feel what we feel, and try to create from a „positive“ place only. Your emotions are your energy in motion, experienced in the body. They literally magnetize the events and people into your life.
Have you ever experienced being instantly attracted or repelled by someone?
You can´t rationally explain your feelings, you just feel that you want to get more of them or that you want to keep them at arm´s length.
If you continue to suppress your emotions, you lose the ability to call in the right people and experiences. Moreover, if you judge yourself for being a certain way, people will sense it miles away, because vibes don´t lie, friends.
Waiting for Your Life to Start and People Pleasing
I´ve been waiting for a long time before I started to live the life I´ve always wanted to live. I thought that one day it will just magically fall into my lap and then all things will change. And that I will change.
What I found once I started to embrace the life I wanted to live is that my life and I are not separate. You support your life by the way you think, feel, and act. You show up and your life follows.
We become dissatisfied and we start dimming our light when we wait for life to give us a sign that it´s OK to move on. Life is a giant mirror. If you believe that you´re not worthy of an extraordinary life, well, you will receive a sign that you´re not.
I need you to understand one thing. Your desires are legit. The things you´ve wanted since you were five years old were never meant to torture you. Your judgments about what you want are torturing you. Trying to be different than you already are is torture. Needing other people to get you is torture.
You´ll never live a meaningful life by changing who you are.
You´ll never receive fulfilling love by pretending to be someone else.
For the first time in your life put YOUR OWN APPROVAL above anyone else´s.
Let go of the idea that you´re broken and that you need to be fixed and try harder.
Ditch all the business and relationship strategies that take you farther from who you truly are.
Commit to being yourself no matter what.
Release the idea that you´re not good enough and you´ll become magnetic instantly.
You can have anything you want, but it comes from accepting yourself first.
Choosing to be true over choosing to be strategic.
But first, you have to stop making who you are wrong.