Every now and then I tend to find myself in an emotional state which is difficult to describe, however, I am sure – in one way or another – you have experienced it, as well. To an outside observer your life would seem just fine, there isn´t any particular reason for you to be unhappy, because on the outside you are doing pretty well. Nevertheless, you are sure that what is happening on the inside is definitely going to drive you crazy. To be more precise it feels like YOU are going to make yourself crazy one day. What I am describing here are the moments when you are trying to figure out your whole life in just one day, by yourself and you want to be finished by 5 p.m. so you can go and finally live your life in peace. It feels like even though your mind is going to break a new land speed record, you still find yourself going round in circles. It is similar to the situation when someone tells you to go and find out what your purpose is and what you should do with your life.
To be honest, I hated that question. I just sincerely hated it, because when are we the most tempted to answer these types of questions? For me it is always when I am feeling the most lost and confused. And the more lost I would feel, the more I would try to figure this whole life calling thing out. This frustrating pointless mind game that we are playing with ourselves can be related to anything from choosing a career to finding a love of your life. However, the one thing that these topics have in common is that you can´t, you have never been able to and you will be never able to figure them out. So what can we do in the moments of frustration and inner turmoil?
1. Never ever believe your thoughts when your are frustrated, sad, angry or anxious
I came to realize that the world I see is a reflection of how I feel internally. The world is going to mirror back to you everything that you were thinking and feeling “secretly” in your mind. Therefore, and by this one thing I´m sure, you can never go out into the world and find what you think is missing in your life. What you´re running after is always going to run away from you, because you will never ever force life to give you something that isn´t a perfect match to who you are, right now, in this moment. The more you are going to battle with your circumstances and thoughts, the more frustrated you are going to feel.
Until one day you will have enough of everything and you will finally give up the whole fight. That will be also the day when you will be ready to listen to the voice of your heart. This voice will be so tender and soothing and so loving that you will realize, at last, that the thoughts you were thinking were far away from the truth as it really is. In the moment of confusion there is only one journey you have to make: the starting point is your head and the finish line is your heart. So the first step is to learn to distinguish between the false thoughts that you believe and the real knowing of your heart. The first is always going to feel like emptiness, scarcity and fear, while latter is going to feel like love, joy and peace.
2. Feel the feelings, write down your thoughts and find out who you would be without them
When you are feeling down there is for sure a thought or more likely a couple of thoughts that are playing on repeat in your mind, causing you painful feelings. Trying to “fight” these thoughts isn´t the best idea, because what we resist persists and with our focus on it, the problem is only going to grow into gigantic proportions. You can´t suppress your thoughts, because if you try to deny them, even though you still believe in them, they are inevitably going to show up somewhere in your life. What we call “obstacles” are only opportunities to bring more life where there was emptiness and to shine our love on the shadows of fear.
So the only solution is to take responsibility for what you have been believing, write those thoughts down, close your eyes and imagine who you would be without them. When you acknowledge that not all of them are true, they will finally let go of you. The real power comes from the knowing that you are not your fearful thoughts and that you can choose what direction you want to flow your precious life force. Don´t give away your power to frustration. Every apparent problem is there for you, to show you where your light is not shining fully and to bring you back to the only solution – your connection with your real Self.
3. You don´t know the whole plan and you´ll be revealed your part in it gently step-by-step, day-by-day
Once you strengthen the connection with your inner wisdom (it can be through meditation, prayer, mindfulness, questioning your thoughts, working out, walking in nature or whatever fills you with joy), you will feel guided every step along the way. You never have to prove your worthiness, neither you have to explain yourself and your heart´s desires to anyone. Love gave you the vision and your heart will show you the right direction. Your only job is to sink into who you really are, which is pure love, joy, creativity and light, and let life bring to you everything that is yours. I stopped counting the times when I gave up on something, stopped pushing and manipulating the people and circumstances around me and started showing up for the life that was right there waiting and unfolding in front of me. In the moment I forgot I needed something and instead I started becoming who life was calling me to be, the thing I was wishing for appeared in my life in a way, I could have never imagined or hoped for.
If you believe that there is a power greater than yours and this power makes you breathe and makes your heart beat, why wouldn´t it be also able to find the right job for you, or the right partner, or provide you with enough abundance to support your work in this world? Believe me, you don´t want to figure it out all at once. It would ruin all the thrill, joy and excitement that we get to experience when life unfolds for us now and now and now and… There is an infinite grace in not having to know.
4. Only your opinion of yourself matters
Even though we are supported by endless life force, we are choosing every minute of every day whether we let it in and allow the opportunities to flood into our life or whether we are going to manage our lives with fear. Only you know what kinds of desires were installed in your heart. The visions and experiences, which make your heart sing, are not an accident. People are called to manifest different things, actions and relationships and if everyone listened to the calling of joy in their hearts, a perfect balance would be established on this planet.
There are people who would never do what you want to do and vice versa. Every time you compare your path to someone else´s path, you doubt the divine plan. Calling of life is always toward more love, more joy and more fulfillment. So don´t be afraid to show up and shine your light wherever you are. Start telling a new story, one of ease, peace and happiness. I can guarantee you that the world is sick with fear right now and all we need is your inner strenght and healing presence. Your only job is to stand right where you are and constantly remind yourself of who you are.
5. Learn to trust the process and know that life is always working out for you
Love has the power to yield to you the most beautiful things in the most unexpected ways. When we are confused we go to everyone else and we seek advice in all the wrong places. No one knows your heart better than you do. If you are not sure what to do, call onto the wisdom of your heart and listen. Grace is going to find you wherever you are. Your truth is your fulfillment, your purpose and your way. Learn to trust your intuition by taking time to be with yourself and by listening to the wisdom anchored in your center.
When you know yourself you can set other people free as well, because you have learnt that no one way is right or wrong. You just know in your heart: this is who I am and I set you free to be who you are. I don´t know what is the best for you and sometimes I don´t even know what is the best for me, but I don´t have to, because life is going to show us the way and the love in our heart is going to give us the strength.
May your path light up for you right where you are.