Today´s title is probably going to contradict everything you´ve heard and believed about getting what you want so far. In this post I would like to provide you and me, even if for a little while, with a space to rest from all the things we´re striving so hard to achieve. Aren´t you tired of the race and the games we are playing with life and ourselves? I can honestly say that I am. Sometimes I persuade myself that I want something really bad and that I won´t be happy until I get it. I think I don´t have to provide you with details of how it goes every time I do this. Basically, I vigorously push and try and then push some more until I drive myself crazy and drive away the very thing I wanted in order to complete my happiness. And then, when I finally realize that life is not going to create in my experience something that´s not in alignment with who I am, I need to refocus again on what´s important:
Take it step by step, day by day…
When I get overwhelmed by the goal itself, it´s usually because I´ve lost the track of the small steps that can be taken right now. No one told us to become everything we are capable of being right now. And if they did, they were wrong. Every great plan is made of smaller actions and those are made of even smaller ones. The opportunities lie in the little things that are in front of us. So the question is – What can I do right now, to fulfill my heart´s calling? Life won´t provide you with the next step if you´ve refused to take the previous one. Let´s not let ourselves forget that life´s now and even though our vision can seem too glorious to have anything in common with the present moment, it´s in the ordinariness of daily life where it needs to be executed. If we are not able to handle small tasks, how are we going to handle the big ones?
Remember who you are
In The lost art of prayer I explained that we don´t get what we want but we always get a match to who we are. If we are too desperate to get something we smell of hopelessness wherever we go. And that isn´t attractive at all, neither for other people nor for opportunities of any kind. For instance, I remember I had one classmate who was so desperate to get a prom date that he´d sent a message to almost every girl in the class hoping that one of us would accompany him. Poor guy tried so hard, but he didn´t probably know that girls talk. So, I assume that you already know how it all ended. This happens when we forget who we truly are and when we lose sight of our own value. From my own experience I know that if I think I can´t be happy without a certain thing, life will be stubbornly refusing to bring that thing into my life, so I can receive a greater gift instead – to learn how to be joyful unconditionally.
Instead of WHAT focus on WHY
We can get so easily caught up in the whole chasing after game that we tend to forget why we started playing it in the first place. When you´re frustrated with the results it´s either because you´ve forgotten why you´re doing it or because you´re chasing a wrong thing for all the wrong reasons. Once you find the internal satisfaction and fulfillment your external experience will catch up with it. The best way to let go of the results is to be doing something where we see the value in the work itself and we live for the process instead of for the results. It´s so easy to tell the difference between a work made out of love and a work made from a place of trying too hard to impress someone else.
What does it cost you?
If your goals cost you integrity, inner peace, sanity or losing the people who were always there for you, it´s time to ask yourself, whether it´s all worth it. Not all that glitters is gold. Let´s make sure we don´t sacrifice the present moment for an imagined future. Because if in order to reach your dream, you don´t treat people with respect and you don´t find time for those you love and those who stand in front of you, even when you arrive at your destination, it´s going to feel empty. Joy, happiness and fulfillment don´t wait for you at the end of the journey, you have to bring them along with you.
May your dreams chase YOU,